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EVE Online

The Transformed Man

It’s not perfect, but the new character creator is a lot of fun – don’t you think? More fun than I envisioned it to be. I feared it might only allow for a range of catalogue models, but plenty of piss-take portraits are already in circulation, proving as always that EVE players will always push a feature to its absolute limits. Seeing as the new character creator is more limited in many ways than the old one (albeit with far prettier results), it’s heartening to see so many new distinctive and some very familiar faces among the new throng. For instance, I’m very pleased that the Caldari fellas have lost the gurning cage fighter look. On the other hand it appears the entire male population of the Amarr Empire has been supplanted by leather-faced Vulcans. It would seem that the Amarr ladies have been given something of a raw deal, most of them waking up this morning next to grandfathers rather than husbands. I predict extinction by the end of the century.

Due to the lack of follicular options in the new Toon-A-Tron (that would otherwise have allowed me to turn Zapatero into something approaching the real me), it was the new Vulcan look sweeping New Eden that forced Kirk-era Shatner to be the inspiration for my magazine-editing other self’s face. Things were going well, too, until after clicking ‘save’, when thanks to the tiny portrait previews, I quickly saw that the brow area looked not-at-all Shatner-esque. Generally however I’m quite pleased with the new “me”, especially the soft focus sheen in which Kirk was so often shot (to the chagrin of his co-stars). Pleasing too was that in spite of the spartan male wardrobe, the standard-issue Federation mustard top and black trouser-in-jackboot combo is more than achievable. I’d like to go back and tweak a few things should the opportunity arise, but if CCP decide not to allow it I’ll not be too upset. The old Zapatero looked like a twat anyway, so my new face is a distinct improvement. Always remember kids: being a twat is one thing, looking like one is quite another.

Time for a song.



2 thoughts on “The Transformed Man

  1. Your last line made me laugh out loud, at work! So thanks for that! If your at FF2011 this year I’ll finalyl be able to buy you that drink I promised to you in Philadelphia those three years ago or dang is it almost 4? Anyways first drink is on me bro hope to see ya at FanFest

    Posted by manasi | January 19, 2011, 4:40 pm
  2. I’ll be there and pleased to take you up on your kind offer :)

    Posted by Zapatero | January 19, 2011, 5:10 pm

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